Monday, June 2, 2014

Let's Get This Party Started

Here we are, at the beginning of an epic adventure.


Roxie took a moment's break from chasing that darn reflection to help load up the dumpster that is currently parked in my driveway.  Actually, that's two dumpsters.  The ginormous one is for trash, and the slightly smaller one is for metal.  Hence the sign:  METAL ONLY.  Both of these bad boys arrived on Tuesday of last week.  This picture was taken on Thursday.  Mom and I started to make a dent in the crapola piles.

Then on Saturday, all hands were on deck and it all went crazy.

Mr. Foss was here and spent some quality time underneath my house.  He is going to come back and take a bunch of the old lumber away.  Jane was here also, and spent quality time under the house and lugging crap into piles.  Mom was still here and she didn't sit down once.  Ann, Aidan, Liam, Delaney, Hoagie, Johnny, Kathy, Abby, Evan and Ruby were also here.  It was a little crowded.  But this is what happened:

First, Roxie found a stick:



Okay, that happened on Thursday, too.  On to Saturday.  Let's look at a picture I took last August:


This is behind the garage, and when the previous owners moved I asked them to get rid of everything that wasn't nailed down (and some things that were).  Practically the only thing from over here they got rid of was the riding mower and the pickup cap they were using to house the mower.  Past those ladders and windows you can see a little building.

On Saturday, here is Ann, taking video for Liam:


This is what she was filming:



Pushed that sucker right over.  The pile of crap in the picture of Ann with the camera, by the way, was stuff that was either in this shed or part of this shed.  And I use the term "shed" loosely.  The "door" on the side of this thing was a gross old shower curtain.  And it was filled with icky windows, some potentially-salvageable-for-an-outdoor-art-project shutters, half of a wheelchair, an icky old stuffed panda (I did not save it for you, Derek), a wooden chair with a hole cut in the seat (a homemade potty chair?) and other assorted nonsense.

Next we found the La Brea Tar Pits:


Don't get me started.

The tire pile just kept growing:


I'm bummed we never got the official tire count but Johnny thinks it was well over 50.

I'm not sure what won the "oddest find" award.  That snowmobile cowl?  The baby bootie?  (No, we didn't find the baby.  At least not yet.)  The wading pool?  What - you don't believe we found a wading pool?  Here:


That pool did an awesome job of covering up a whole host of shit.  In fact, several layers of shit.  In double fact, there are still layers of shit out there from under this pool - we had to just walk away.  I need to go back out there with more than a rake to excavate some more.

But back to the oddities.  A pool is nothing.  How about bedsprings?


No?  A steering wheel and three windshield wipers?  A broken canoe?  An old push mower, down in the river?  An entire swing set?  This thing, that Evan thinks is an engine?


An Etch-A-Sketch, broken into a million pieces?  Storm windows, broken into a million pieces?  A propeller?  HOW ABOUT THE GODDAMN KITCHEN SINK?  Yes, everything and the kitchen sink.

Grrr.

Metal dumpster is full.



Actually, it's more than full.  We've got another pile going on the grass.

Phew.  Mom has been working her butt off all week and has made three trips so far to the reSource store here in town.  I listed some free (please-please-please-come-and-take-it) stuff on Front Porch Forum.  But Saturday was a huge, long day.  I never could have gotten so much loaded up without the help of all those crazy people I mentioned earlier.  Aidan even came back on Sunday because he was so bothered by the amount of garbage the previous owners left behind.  I hope his tetanus shot is up to date.

Saturday was the best birthday present ever.  I shall be eternally grateful.

Oh yeah.  And there was this:


My cake came in this box, and yours didn't.

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